Poker Report
6/18/03


“I’m allowed to write a sexist poker report, cuz I’m a girl”.


I have to say (and no offense intended to all of the extremely masculine gentlemen at the poker table) that the game last night was a bit like a quilting bee. Or a knitting circle. Gab, gab, gab:
“What color palette would be best for redecorating Steve’s apartment?”
“It’s been a month now – do you think that means we are, like, boyfriend-girlfriend? Really?”
“Oh, these cookies are just divine!”
“Those sneakers look so cute on you!”
“Tell me the absolute truth, does my butt look big in these pants?”

Now, I’m not sure that there is any relationship between the amount of extra-curricular talk and the amount of winnings, but I will say this:
Ben – lost it all
Donahue – ditto
Eric – dropped a buck
Abby – picked it up
Jeff – nothing to write home about
Jensen – won some drinkin’ money
Steve – I don’t want to talk about it.

Lots of gabbing. But, see, there hadn’t been a poker game in a while and we had some catching up to do. A few feet below our flapping mouths, the cards were rolling. We played Texas, slow and steady, no complaints, no broken hearts. Donahue reminded us about the fair city of Omaha, but paid for it later when Steve “plus fi’ty” Elliot won the high and the low, giving Donahue a lecture as he raked in the chips. A lecture! When Baseball came around, Eric tossed in his cards as if to say “fuck this game”. Predictably enough, the game just turned right around and fucked him later. You do have to bet if you have 4 Kings. You just do. Morally.

I’d say more about the details of this hand, or that one, and I’d tell you the rules of the new roll’em game we learned, but I was too busy talking to Ben about what on earth he is going to wear to the party this weekend, and asking Jensen about what conditioner he uses on his hair (which is really, really silky - have you noticed?).