The Poker Report

2-18-03

"Giving Money To Stanford Educated Engineers Since 2001"

Guest Editor: Gideon Lewis-Kraus

As street corner headlines shouted about global unrest in letters three inches high and televisions and radios blared about the end of the end of the Korean armistice and the possibility of a sun-bloody conflict on two distant horizons, it felt warm and good to walk into Steveπs apartment, the air thick and brothy with the smell of roasted garlic. I coughed twice. ≥You look sick. I was just going to have some homemade chicken soup,≤ Steve said with a soft smile. ≥Want some? Itπll make you feel better.≤

Jenson, Ben and Donahue came in; it looked like last weekπs ≥sugartits≤ comment had chased the fairer sex away for the evening. ≥Your old lady said sheπs coming at eight,≤ Steve said to Ben, hinting to Ben that he knew a thing or two about whether or not his old lady was coming, and when. ≥But Abbyπs not coming.≤ Ben called Steveπs opener: Wendy, in fact, was not coming, but Abby was, he had just spoken with her. Steve raised: I just spoke with her, too, twenty minutes ago. Ben backed down, murmuring something about twenty-five minutes ago, but it looked like Steve came out on top in the game of who knew more about ladies and their plans.

Then the real poker began. One of Donahueπs only losses came early in the night, when he folded to a buried two of clubs in a game where the smallest club in the hole threw a wrench into the gameπs slick machinery. ≥I had to fold. Youπre too sincere,≤ he told me, as I scooped up handfuls of plastic.

But the next hand saw the first slow rumblings of the eveningπs big reversal. ≥Why donπt we make it a buck?≤ Steve asked Jenson, check-raising before the flop for the second time. And with that display of unwarranted brashness, some higher power took an interest in the game, and our money started streaming across the table to Donahue.

≥Donahue never wins,≤ Steve said, and laughed a tinny laugh. Donahue chuckled softly, and showed a quiet flush against Steveπs two-pair to take yet another game of Omaha.

Steve tried to defend his karmic slide with invocations of purity. Ben, having had a similar experience last weekend, chimed in, ≥You wouldπve won that hand if youπd been a worse poker player, Steve.≤ But pokerπs a game where the puffed-up tiddly-winks are the only currency, and Donahue's corner of the table was bowing under the weight.

I went all in against Donahue in a long hand of Omaha, but my flat tire blew out beside his high-low wheel. Steve, a paltry and still-dwindling pile of chips before him, finally awoke to the situation and snapped.

≥Somewhere on the South Side of Chicago, thereπs an accountant cracking it up,≤ Steve said. And we did not understand.

We exhanged puzzled looks. But there was really only one explanation: the engineer from Vermont was finally getting his due, and Steveπs fragile brainãlong accustomed to the idea that all is forgotten and nothing is redressedãjust couldnπt take it. We shook our heads in silent pity.

Donahue swept up all the money, beamed for a moment, and left with Ben and Jenson. Steve and I walked to my car, on the way to a birthday party. Sara called; Joe Millionaireπs top choice stuck by him despite his shocking revelation, and Fox came through with a cool mil of its own for the happy couple. I told Steve, who was still shaken, whispering mad warnings about Donahue and Donahue's money.

Steve smiled, broad and warm, like when he offered me the hot soup. ≥I guess there are still some things in this crazy world that work out okay, after all.≤

≥Yes, Steve. I guess youπre right.≤ I could tell then that I was going to learn a lot from this guy.

Gideon "the kid" Lewis-Kraus

Guest Editor

The Poker Report

Name Profession Win/Loss Win/Loss Year To Date

Steve, The Editor of The Poker Report -$2 + $24

Ben, The Search Engine Consultant - $5 - $22

Donahue, The Stanford Engineer +$22 +$35

Jensen, The Rock&Roll Enthusiast -$5 -$12

Gideon, The McSweeney's Intern -$10 -$10

Noticeably absent: poets, jedi knights, carpenters, grant writers, famous novelists, independent publishers

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