The Poker Report 10-17-01

"Looking For A Better World Since 2001"

Yesterday Sharon ordered a military pullout of Palistinian controlled H1 in Hebron. In Response Wendy brought pears, olives, and carrots to poker night. Meanwhile, two right wing members of the coalition government of Israel resigned. Sharon went on the news as saying the ministers are giving a gift to Arafat.

They certainly weren't giving a gift to Ben who lost constantly all night, finally sulking in the corner and refusing to play after going down twenty. Donahue also sustained heavy losses under a barrage of withering fire and three of a kind hold 'em from Jon Berry who had obviously decided early to leave his mark on the Donattude. Jon then erected an electrical steel fence around Donahue and told him he couldn't leave.

Wendy also lost though not as badly as Ben and we were visited by my quiet downstairs neighbor who offered to stay and help clean up the mess. But while the tanks have pulled back to H2 an enormous area of Hebron is still controlled by Israel. 40,000 Hebron Palestinians guided by the malicious whims of 400 right wing Israeli settlers. Sharon has neither the will nor the desire to remove the 2,500 soldiers guarding this small encampment of religious fanatics so 40,000 Palestinians remain locked in or out of their homes, the entire area under 24 hour curfew. On the other end Hamas activists respond to any peace overtures with more killing as it is not in their interest to allow a cease fire to take hold. Last night they assasinated the minister of tourism and while Arafat has ordered arrests he does not have popular support from much of the population.

Knowing all of this didn't stop Laura from losing fifteen dollars and poking me in the eye everytime I tried to give her perfectly good advice. She came up from Palo Alto to learn the ways of a sick gambling world that cares nothing except for its own addiction. Recognizing that 18th century literature is just thinly veiled pornography she put her books away for a world that did not treat her kind.

Andy proved that no-one can be trusted in this world, especially himself, calling double sevens beats everything while the pair sat in his lap. His dishonesty cost me four dollars and my faith in humanity, already badly shaken by events in the Middle East. Abby lost, Wendy lost, Jensen lost everything and played like a man that was eager for an excuse to leave during the closing rounds. And when Abby said she would go and take her pretty, smiling face with her, the rest of us knew there was no more point.

I ended up seven dollars ahead on pure skill as I was dealt bad cards all night. Jon closed with the second highest total ever. Donahue took a much needed bath, after three weeks on the point he lost like the sucker we all know him to be.

No one can tell which way tensions are going in the Middle East. We play poker outside the long grey arms of the internal revenue service. We play in my undecorated studio above where the hookers stand. We think our chips do not contribute to the three billion in aid America sends Israel every year, which they use to maintain the sixth highest standard of living in the world while Palestinians live on a fraction. We fund their oppression and that is concrete and true as long as their are still 400 settlers in Hebron. So as the party split, what was ten friends divided into pockets of bitterness and joy. I told everybody to take their empty cans with them down to the street. Jon didn't want to. He said it was my problem. There were facts on the ground. The big winner is often the meanest of players, as we know from Sharon. I felt opressed by Jons words and considered bulldozing his house for a moment. But an international coaltion led by Andrew and Donahue helped quickly clean up the problem and a long, cold war was averted. This is when neighbor Tom asked if I needed any more help cleaning. But I said no. After all, I don't want him knocking on my door in the middle of the day asking to borrow sugar or help subdue the junkie in apartment five. War is messy, I told him. Even when it's over.

Stephen Elliott

Editor and Supreme Commander

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