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The Poker Report 1-31-03 "Making Winners Losers Since 2001" The Poker Report For a week when President Bush declared a two front war on Iraq and the environment the poker game was strangely even. Both long tall Cooney and Gideon escaped without winning or losing. With the exception of Ben, who lost a whopping nine dollars, nobody lost more than a buck. I was the big winner with five dollars for my trouble. But the real story of the game was filled with more intrigue and drama then the final outcome would suggest. In a precursor of what was to come, Wendy and Cooney went head to head in a steely hand of roll-over. Wendy, both prettier and smarter than Cooney, unveiled three sevens while Corn-fed turned a hard straight out of a short flush. This was after Cooney had already announced to the room that anyone that bets high out the gate is a bush league player. He let the world know he never bets fifty cents, never has, never will. Gideon, representing the new generation of well-educated suckers, lost in a blazing crash of wasted potential, walking Martin and Jenson to the edge of the infield with nothing but a straight on an ugly game of Baseball. Both Martin and Gideon were new to the game and didn't know that when threes and nines are wild you better have something crazy in the hole if you're gonna pay the rent. Gideon was the only player to buy back in. The poor kid makes his money working in a bookstore in Berkeley and it looked for a bit like he would be supping on Ramen for the first half of February. Then he made a comeback. On the final hand of an expensive round of Clue Gideon pulls three trump, winning a six dollar pot. It could have been an eighteen dollar pot, but Gideon decided to let me win one of the three hands, cutting me in for a third rather than forcing me to double. There could be no explanation for this other than charity. A charity so clear and good that Ben, who is allergic to anyone being nice to me, broke out in a rash. Other pundits were quick to point out that I would not have done the same for Gideon. A charge to which I declined to respond. Jenson, Gideon, and I finished the night at the Uptown, pondering Ben's losses and Jon Berry's mysterious disappearance. "I wonder why Berry never shows up anymore," I said, sipping quietly on a small glass of whiskey. "He was losing too much money and not bringing anything home to his wife," Jenson replied. "He wants concessions." "Well, we're not going to do that," I said. "We're not going to negotiate until he lives up to his obligations. He has to first start playing poker again, then we'll talk about what we're willing to do for him." "Sometimes you have to negotiate with people," Gideon said. "Even if you might not want to." "You're such a child," I said, and Jenson and I both laughed at young Gideon. "It's a good thing you're not in the white house." Stephen Elliott Editor, The Poker Report
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